Diaries of a Female Solo Traveler part 1

Malaysian Borneo – 06, March, 2014

I’ve been writing about my adventures with a partner, family and friends. It’s time to write about traveling solo.

My recent trips have been results of last minute decisions, places and food I saw on the National Geographic Channel. It’s not the best way to plan a trip but if it’s only now that I have, then I’ll grab that opportunity.

My latest planned solo trip was to Europe. This was August of 2013. When I say planned, I mean planned date of departure and arrival from and to Manila, 1 month before departure. As to where and what I was going to do, I had no idea. The only thing I had was Frommer’s 2013 edition of Italy. I was able to plan most of my trips in the last minute and luckily, was able to get good fares and have cheap accommodations. I never read about places I would visit. There would always just be that one goal which was to try the local food.

I got so used to planning trips in the last minute that I carried that on until I got back to the Philippines. Trips to local destinations since then were planned one week to on-the-day-itself of leaving for the destination. I also learned since then that trips that have been planned way ahead of time can cause trouble or in my head, JINXED. I tried planning a trip to Bali ahead of time but that did not end well. I didn’t even push through with the trip. Instead, I booked a flight to Kota Kinabalu 4 days before my departure. Little did I know that Kota Kinabalu is a destination for two. I couldn’t plan wild adventures too much because most of the activities require 2 pax.

The thought of traveling alone always excites me. The thrill of getting lost, not knowing where to go and making friends with strangers give me goosebumps and puts a huge smile on my face.

In Europe, it was a lot easier for me to approach people and ask for directions. It was easier for me to read their maps and have fun getting lost. I didn’t mind getting lost in the streets of Palermo, thinking in the back of my mind that someone was probably being interrogated by mafia in the other alley. I didn’t mind getting lost in the streets of Florence, thinking about how Dante Alighieri loved his city so much. I didn’t mind getting lost in the streets of the Aventine, thinking of the Romans’ barbaric lifestyle then. I didn’t mind getting lost in the streets of Venice, thinking of how Cassanova was able to capture his audience. I didn’t mind getting lost in the streets of Campo de’ Fiori, thinking of how they probably dragged Giordano Bruno to the square and executed him in the piazza. I didn’t mind getting lost in the streets of the neighborhood behind Gran Via, smiling and making small talk with the prostitutes.

In Asia, it’s a lot different. Maybe just for me. I find it harder or I’m too bashful to ask my kapwa Asians on where to go, what to do unless they’re Filipinos in a foreign country. I found it difficult to ask Indians for directions, make small talk with the Chinese and have a fun conversation with the Korean couples. It’s not that these people are difficult or snobbish. For some reason, I’m just bashful around them.

I just recently got back from a trip to the Kinabalu National Park with 2 Chinese ladies, a Japanese couple and a Dutch couple. I was able to talk to the Dutch couple more than my fellow Asians. Why do you think? Maybe we Asians are shy or don’t feel the need to talk to other people when we’re already with someone we know? I really don’t know!

Being alone on a trip is not always fun though. Whenever I see couples backpacking together in Borneo, couples riding cabs together in Singapore, couples making out (for the love of God, REALLY!? Huhuhu) in Lucca, best friends sharing a bunk bed in Sardegna, sisters sharing a plate of pasta in Chianti, families taking family photos in front of the Pantheon, I always felt that loneliness that gave me sharp pains through the chest. Beautiful places and experiences are meant to be shared with people you love. It was painful not being able to hug, kiss, laugh and argue with the people I love while I was experiencing these beautiful places.

On a lighter note, it’s when I’m alone that I get to write, take wonderful photos and observe humanity and the world! I’m able to appreciate the people I love and my county even more when I travel solo. It keeps me motivated and hungry for the unknown.

When you’ve traveled alone one too many times, you master the art of taking selfies with mesmeric backgrounds, without making yourself look too vain. If you get tired of taking photos of your face, you end up taking photos of your body parts, STILL WITH the mesmeric backgrounds. You do this not for your Instagram account but as remembrance and actual proof that at least a body part of yours was there. You take that risk of asking a stranger to take your photo, hoping s/he won’t run off with your camera. (Always ask a co-traveler to take your photo. They won’t run off with your camera. Their’s is probably more expensive).

Right now, it is 2:07 AM and I just back from dinner with new found friends in Malaysian Borneo. Another beautiful country, a new set of wonderful friends and a new long distance relationship in the making with them. Pros and cons again about having friends in far places. You get to develop a deep friendship with them but will probably see each other in 5-10 years. You’ll always have someone, somewhere in the world who’s got your back.

What are your solo traveler experiences?